fitz & dizzyspells

Nights are very odd for me. There are some nights that I lie awake in bed, laptop bright and open with all the other lights off. I leave music playing and I hum or sing along and blinded by the white light directly in front of me I stare at the darkness surrounding me and it’s the same darkness, the exact same scenario as when I lived at home with my parents and it’s bittersweet. I no longer have to remain quiet at night but my walls are pale and empty from any emotion or memories for the time being. And I feel homesick for a home that never felt like home. But after I’m done being melodramatic I realize it’s still home to me and I continue humming, my head down avoiding the darkness.