i'm not in the mood for this.

i'm really getting sick of my family. my car's dead and instead of asking "hey do you need a ride to work today? what time can i pick you up?" i get their snide little remarks, i get yelled at and lectured for things completely beyond my control. i get sarcasm, i get pushed around and told "why don't you get carlos to give you a ride, huh?" and when i respond angrily they turn around and wonder why i'm in such a pissy mood. "i don't understand why she gets like that." and they naively wonder why i'm trying to get out of here, this stupid house where it's every man for themselves and it's wrongly labeled a "family."

and i need to calm down. the anxiety is making me nauseous and i do not want to vomit right now. i should be studying but i can't wrap my mind around anything right now.

i'm not in the mood for this.

they say that if you remain calm in emergency situations, it'd be likely you could survive anything, your chances of survival increase dramatically. i went into shock from a car accident, i'm tense and anxious. i wish it wasn't so, but if shit went down, i wouldn't survive.