achluophobia

i hate being outside when it's dark. as a child i had a phobia of the dark and it seems it hasn't fully left me alone just yet. i do alright in big open spaces where i can see everything around me, but not so much when there are objects in which something or other can hide. like cars.
i hate cars at night. i hate coming home late at night to find my dad's left the car in the driveway meaning i have to walk past it in the dark to get to the door. which i also hate, because there's a corner and some bushes. but the car has always terrified me. i hate walking to my car after work late at night, because my imagination always gets the best of me. what if there's a decapitated body in the back seat? or just someone hiding waiting to hurt me? i always half expect to see a pair of red eyes peering out at me, waiting.
i try to be rational. i know there's nothing there, there never is. "there's nothing there, there's no one there, nothing nothing nothing..." but i can never seem to fully convince myself, because every time i'm sure i see a shadow moving or those menacing eyes...
so i run. i always run. as a kid i'd turn on all the lights in my house at night and create a path of light straight to my room to run through as i turn off each light.

for someone who tends to be a bit more on the nocturnal side, this phobia doesn't really make any sense.